Tackling Life Again

I’ve had the chance to savour the clear headedness I’ve had lately. It’s like… I never thought I would get it back. Just to feel focussed and calm. And just to be me. Not all these voices and people clamouring in my head crowding every piece and section of my mind. Not to feel tension and white noise in my mind 24/7. It’s an emotional feeling. I enjoy hearing my own thoughts for the first time in a long time. I feel content and happy. You know when you’re just in the moment, so you just feel calm and chilled out. I have not felt like that in years. But now is the time to start doing something about it. I need to think about putting back a routine in place. I need to learn how to live in the real world again. It sounds simple, but I got so overwhelmed simply by trying to organise a drawer. My mind just couldn’t cope with the visual information and work out in my head what to do about it, so I’d shut down and break down. The only way I got things done was by triggering off adrenaline and hypomania. But relying on adrenaline is very unhealthy and exhausting. So I’m wondering what’s it gonna be like now I have mental space and clarity, is it enough to process chores and daily responsibilities?

I’m thinking to break everything down a bit cuz I tend to get racing thoughts with a million ideas of what I should do first and that’s not happening so much. Where do I start though?

Chores/Daily Living:

My room is a tip,
I got a shitload of laundry to do,
Food shopping else I’ll starve
Washing dishes
Organise bits and bobs shoved into bags and suitcases
Sort of duvet and bedding
Hair needs dying
Finish Christmas shopping, wrap presents, write cards
Make time for theory revision every day
Sort out work out and flexibility stretching routine everyday
Apply for more dance classes
Sex Work:

Sort out my Chaturbate page
Connect my Logitech webcam to computer
Start sorting out my membership site
Adverts for blog
Organise all my photos and videos on computer
Implement my social media schedule
Start building an email subscriber list
Finish sorting out sellable clothing, take pictures of me wearing them and put them on shop so I can sell them
Take pics of used panties and put on shop to sell
Sort out a regular camming schedule
Take more photos for insta


  • Ass worship video
  • Wedgie video
  • Vlogs
  • Striptease video
  • Vaping video
  • Whining video
  • Foot massage video
  • Titty oiling video
  • Whipped cream video
  • Lolly BJ video
  • Tips to make your Head Game A1 Video


Other ideas I want to start up:

Reviewing sex toys on blog and video
Start planning website and stripper booking page
Look for pages I can advertise
Where can I hire security

So yeah, there’s a lot. That’s the thing with my mind, I have so much to do, and want to do so many things and want to do them all at once. It all crowds in my head and gets confusing and I get lost trying to prioritise and sort out what’s what in my head. In the end I just find myself in fantasy land struggling to make sense of shit, so my head makes me feel like I am doing all those things when I haven’t left my bed, and I don’t even realise it. I think I should prioritise the first list. Luckily I have someone coming in to help me do some structuring and routine work in the New Year, so that’s gonna help.

Okay I’m gonna do things in this order:

  1. Washing all dishes
  2. Food shopping
  3. Cook/Eat breakfast
  4. Laundry
  5. Sort out duvet and bedding
  6. Xmas present wrapping
  7. Xmas shopping (If I feel physically up to it)
  8. Put things floating in my room in bags
  9. Vacuum the carpet
  10. Clean all the surfaces in my room.

Right. Gonna write that down on paper and I’m gonna keep that as a list and tick it off as I go along. I’m gonna reward myself with an extra strong blunt at the end of the day if I achieve ALL those things!! Wish me luck!


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